Restaurant: A little French bistro.
Jade: Smoked salmon, cream cheese and cucumber on French baguette.
Leilani: French ham with brie on sourdough baguette.
Jade nixes ordering dessert. She is being supportive of my latest attempt to lose weight. We arrive early for lunch but the small bistro is already half full. I am wishing I had ordered the pasta.
Our charming waiter, a delicate wisp of a young man tells us he used to be a dancer at some avant garde show in Las Vegas. I wonder why he isn't anymore. He has a very thick French accent and moves very gracefully. I notice that he has very slim, feminine fingers. I ask which part of France he is from. He is from Montreal. I feel duped. It's like finding out the Louis Vuitton bag that you bought in Honolulu at full retail was a Hong Kong knock-off. I am NOT impressed. But not as horrified at the fact that I couldn't distinguish real French accent from a Montreal accent. Okay, so I don't speak French. But I should. Details.
For seven years, Jade has been intimating the same problem over and over---that is, over lunch. Two evil step-sons. One tall, good-looking, charming RICH husband who seems to have lost total perspective over fathering these little demons effectively. The problem is, the little demons are now 18 and 21. Fat chance.
Fitz is Jade's second husband. Yes, that's short for Fitzgerald. Obviously, his parents were Kennedy-philes. Fitz's name is a product of playground politics instigated by some cruel bully who will grow up overweight, with yellow teeth and wearing dirty overalls to work. The name simply stuck on poor John Fitzgerald Orton who would grow up to be a real estate developer and one of the richest men in the big city. Of course, as fate would have it, Jade wasn't always Jade. Maxine, Jade's mother, married seven times, fancied herself a hippie and named her 2nd daughter, Precious. Precious has been Jade for well over 20 years now---since she decided to reinvent herself and get married at 16 to a Paul Newman clone. Unfortunately, Mr. Paul Newman clone acted more like Tony Soprano. THe point is, Jade has been Jade for far too long to be Precious. And we do lunch together. Every week.
I'd like to write about our adventures in lunching. Yeah. It's mind-boggling.
No comments:
Post a Comment